Recently, I have had three different friends tell me about a woman named Brenet Brown, who is a well-known researcher. and writer. She is well known, even though I had never heard of her. She travels and speaks on a variety of topics. Out of curiosity, I looked her up on youtube, and listened to one her talks. It was on the subject of vulnerability. It was so intriguing that I wrote down some of her key points to share. It resonated with me, because I have become a person who really doesn't fear being vulnerable, so I enjoyed hearing what she had to say.
She said people fear vulnerability, because of shame. She defines shame as fear of disconnecting. It is fear there is something about me that if people find out, I won't be worthy of connection. In my experience, it has been those secret things that when brought to the surface, foster intimacy. However, for many years, I hid who I was, for that same reason she discussed. Why do we look around and assume everyone else has it all together, and we are the only ones who are broken, and unlovable? This is such a lie we believe.
Brown went on to talk about the research she did between two groups of people she interviewed. One group was fearful, and stuck in their shame. They were truly broken and discontent. The second group, also had painful stories, and yet she observed they were what she called "whole-hearted" people, who fully embraced life, They had no hint of shame. One thing that defined them was their courage. Courage comes from the latin word "coeur,"or heart. They were characterized by compassion and connection. They were truly authentic, and fully embraced their vulnerability. This next part was what I love the most. She said she believed what made them vulnerable mede them beautiful! I feel the need to repeat that in my own words to drive it home.
Do you realize that the very thing you are ashamed of, and believe makes you unloveable, and undesirable is the very thing God wants to use to bring beauty not only to your own life, but to those around you? Your story could be used exponentially in someone else's life to awaken them to the realization that they are not alone, and you could use your heartbreak to connect to another human being! Your story is so powerful!
The other option, as she goes on to point out is what most people do with their vulnerability, which is to numb it. We are historically the most in-debt, obese, addicted people up until now. This is because when you numb the negative emotions through addiction, and other ways of coping, you also numb emotions of joy, and happiness, as it is impossible to compartmentalize our feelings.
This is a lengthy introduction to another part of my story, however, I wanted to share this, because I love the power of vulnerability. If you are reading this, you have a story. I would like to hear it. Please leave a comment, and let me know if you have shared it with anyone! If you are comfortable emailing me your story of vulnerability, I would love that as well!
As promised, I will write more in my next post about my path to recovery from depression.
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